Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
