it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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