Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
