why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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