Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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