I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
