What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
