from now on my penis is your penis
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
