Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
soo... how was my night?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
