You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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