I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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