so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
