i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
