I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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