I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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