Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
