just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
