so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
