Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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