just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You can't just leave with hair like that
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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