considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
