Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
