dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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