Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize