Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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