They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
