Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this beer tastes like vomit already
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
