a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
