I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
