He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
