matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
