She announced her abortion via fbk
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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