I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
