My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize