I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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