the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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