I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
