I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
