this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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