so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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