What did we do last night that was yellow?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
