would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
