Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
