Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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