there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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