Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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