She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
