I hate all girls vehemently.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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