Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
