Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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