just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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