And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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