I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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