Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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