So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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