Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
