did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Houston, we have a squirter
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
