just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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