k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
